God is Faithful

I recently had an attitude adjustment concerning things which I can't do anything about.I used to pout, sulk and worry all day.I now pray and whenever I feel that depression coming on I pray even more.Just during this week God has shown himself faithful to me.I keep saying over and over again in my head He knows my situation and he knows about my transportation problems my financial concerns and he knows about our necessities and I'm not going to worry.Down to Malachi's last pullup,down to one roll of toilet tissue,no gas money and worn down brakes he moved on my behalf.I am grateful that I can go to the store in a few hours and get the things we need.Trust God He will show himself faithful to you too.

Why are you so angry?

Time lost with loved ones.Years missing from your memory, every things a blur.Drug and alcohol abuse have robbed you of the prime time of your life.Instead of building your dream home and settling down with the person of your dreams you were chasing a high or a feeling that could never be duplicated after that fist high.Your children are all grown up,you are behind in the times,not familiar with the technology of today.You've been awakened from a trance,Why are you so angry?


You have overcome the demons of drugs and alcohol,you've started from scratch. A brand new beginning,new family ,new surroundings, a whole new you .You've gone from sleeping in abandoned buildings,eating out of dumpsters ,to eating steak and shrimp and having a warm and stable home to come home to,Why are you so angry?

The people who are close to you, you are pushing away .Anger and frustration over mistakes you have made in the past have taken hold and you can't stand to see anyone happy because you are not.No one can change the past,we can only work towards insuring a better future .Why are you so angry?

What was on his mind?

Yesterday the kids dyed Eggs and fixed their Easter baskets.Today we went to church and afterwards,I turned to my 3 youngest Melia 6,Maliq 4and Malachi 3 and told them when they got home they could get their baskets and eat the chips and juice that was inside.Melia looked at me and said I don't have any chips.I questioned her as to what happened to them.She then informed me that Justin her 11 year old brother had made a trade with her.I knew something was fishy about the trade before even asking what she got in return.I said o.k. what did you trade your bag of flaming hots for and she happily said" An easter egg". Needless to say,I was very disappointed that her brother played on her innocence and made a bogus trade like that.How is he gonna trade her an Easter egg that I boiled and should've been in her basket in the first place.I just shook my head and waited for mr. negotiator to walk home from church .When he got in he sat on the couch,I asked him why he made A trade like that.He burst out in laughter which let me know he knew he was wrong.I asked him how he planned on fixing it and he planned on apologizing but I told him that wasn't good enough and to come up with something else.He walked to Burger King and bought his lunch with the money he earned from pulling weeds at the neighbors house and he came back and gave melia a small order of fries.I was pleased with his way of paying her back and she was too.I would've been really worried if he didn't see anything wrong with what he did!

Do You Trust GOD?

Do you trust God?Hmmm,I always said that I did but my actions showed otherwise
I was brought up to pray about my problems and forget about them and know that God will work everything out the way it's supposed to be.It may not turn out the way we expect for it to at that time but within time everything makes sense.

As I sat on the couch and prayed last night,I had a shocking revelation something I had never really thought about.I have always put trust in man but have neglected to trust God with my situations and circumstances.I would say I had faith as many of us do but I now realize I didn't.Some very important decisions that I have made I've trusted man and not God to be my provider.Man will let you down time after time because they are only human.

When you are a housewife and you depend on your husband to bring home the bacon what happens if he gets hurt on the job and can no longer work.No income coming in kids looking at you crazy cause they don't have the things they need,bills piling up disconnection notices coming in even faster,what do you do?What you have been putting your trust in has failed you,your hands are tied there is nothing that you can do, no help for you to receive there is no easy fix you need money and you needed it 3 weeks ago.

Basic necessities and toiletries you are unable to afford.Your vehicle starts acting crazy and you can't get around even if you had the gas money to put in it.Easter is fast approaching,proms graduations, birthdays and anniversaries.The pressure is on you are stripped down to nothing.Do you trust God then or do You continue to try and find another way.

The revelation was shocking as I had said before.After everything else had failed me I still didn't trust God.I came up with illegal schemes,and even considered prostitution.All the while I'm praying and saying that I believe and I have faith but time the praying stops I'm back plotting and scheming.Sometimes it takes you being stripped down to barely nothing for you to be able to clearly hear God's voice talking to you,Its a shame that we don't listen when things are going good,we block God out and are too busy doing whatever you deem to be important.

Trusting God and having faith in him is of utmost importance.What man cannot do God can do.He knows our individual situations and will work things out in his own way in his own time.Every difficult situation you face when you yourself alone cannot solve the problem is opportunity for a miracle.I'm waiting on mine how about you?

Stranger in my bed

Sometimes decisions we make are based on the emotions we feel at that time.We don't always think things through and weigh the good and bad aspects of things .Jumping into things with our hormones raging and no thoughts of tomorrow,a lot of us are guilty of this .


What is your reaction when you wake up one morning and realize theres a stranger in your bed?Pure horror right,think about going to bed next to that person every night and waking up feeling like he's a complete stranger.Think about if this person is the one you chose to be your mate,that's even more horrifying!How do you recover from this?Do you continue to be miserable and pretend that nothing is wrong or do you confront the issue and move on?

What if you realize you have nothing in common with you spouse ?The days of the hot and steamy romance are long gone,the kids are demanding and your spouse is stuck in the past when there were no children and less responsibilities.


Think about it, when you first meet someone and you are being swept off your feet you hardly ever pay attention to those little flaws you see in the other person.You may overlook the fact that he or she is not that bright mentally.You may also overlook their tendency to get jealous.You may even overlook the fact that their earning potential is minimal at best thinking that Love will help you get through hard times.I am here to tell you I have never seen love pay one bill! Critical things to overlook,how does a person recover?

Do you have a stranger in your bed?

HAVE YOU TRULY FORIVEN?

Have you truly forgiven?That is a question you should ask yourself.Through the trials and tribulations of life there is always that one person or people that hurt you,or did something so wrong you felt like killing them.Yes we have all been there,but how you let go is most important .Do you sit around and smolder on the inside whenever you hear that persons name?Do you cringe and try to walk in the opposite direction if you happen to see that person walking in the mall?Does it feel like vinegar being poured into wounds when someone happens to mention how good the other party is doing?


We are only human and it's natural to feel those feelings,but for how long?As a Christian I was taught from childhood to forgive so that I may be forgiven.Turn the other cheek and move on,yes it's easier said than done but it can be done.


The other day I was on one of my detective missions on the internet,I'm naturally nosy as my family and friends know and I can find info. on anybody.I was curious as to why my ex husband has not been paying child support. The ex husband who cheated on me with my so called friend that was also his brothers baby mama.The ex husband who went on to impregnate her while I was pregnant and then went on to marry her after our divorce.As I was searching,I found that their home is in foreclosure.The old me would have jumped for joy and said they deserve every bit of what they get,but I didn't do that.I said a little prayer for them and thought about the kids they have and how difficult this time must be.I know this may sound really strange after the pain they inflicted but I am only human and couldn't hold on to the anger and resentment of what happened forever.Now don't get me wrong I wouldn't go back to being friends with them but it was at that moment when I said a prayer for them that I realized I had truly forgiven.

I CAN HEAR A PIN DROP

Silence is something that is a rare occurrence in my house !With all of the kids talking ,playing,singing&dancing I hardly ever get a moment to myself.By the time they go to bed I'm usually so exhausted that I doze off too.Sometimes,like now I wake up a few hours before they do so that I can have some" ME" time.After giving,listening&sharing all day I need to regroup and decide what's in store for the next day.I get a moment to sit down and reflect on the events of yesterday and if their were any negative events,how they can be resolved.
I'm enjoying the silence right now but at the same time I'm looking forward to the challenges that are ahead of me.How do you get free time or me time when raising more than 1 child?

Full time job

Being a mother is a full time job.Anyone who begs to differ either has no children or neglects the ones that they have.If you take the time to think really think you will realize the significance and influence that we have as parents.We have been entrusted with the lives of other human beings.It is our responsibility to mold and shape them to be all they can be.There was a point in time that I didn't realize the important task I had taken on but with age comes knowledge and understanding.I started having kids at 14 and of course I was oblivious to what my real responsibilities were.I didn't know at 14 that raising a child meant more than feeding and clothing them.
I learned by trial and error.Thank God I had family around during the error parts of my life.I'm grateful that my children had loving family around to help me when I was learning to be a mother.I am still on a journey and still learning daily.The emotional part of parenting is deep.I have a house full of kids and each one of them has their own emotional needs.I make my rounds and listen to each of them on a daily basis to let them know I am interested in what's going on and that their feelings are important.Now that's alot of talking and of course the younger kids Malachi and Maliq just want to talk about their WWE figures the ones they have and the ones they want!!!The rest of the kids are a little more complex but it's my job to listen and give them the advice, love and support they need.

There are days when I don't feel so giving and days when I just want to be left alone but I just take a short breather and get back in the game.They didn't ask to be here and face it ,If it's not me taking the time to talk to them and see what's on their minds the pimps,prostitutes,drug dealers and gang bangers would gladly lend a listening ear.

Children are a blessing

I woke up this morning to the sound of my lifesaver tin being opened.I already knew who the culprit was before I turned to look.It was Maliq my curly headed little 4 year old son who rises early in the morning looking for anything my husband and I forgot to put away.I have 7 children and it's amazing how I can hear one coughing or sneezing from another room and know who it is without asking.It's also funny that I can hear their feet hitting the floor when the first get out of bed and I can tell you who just got up without seeing them.Someone stole a cup cake last night and I know who that was without even asking!The other night I helped the kids and my niece fix pizzas using English muffins,I know who it was that ate all the toppings off and threw the English muffin into the toilet!Sometimes it is the little things you have to pay attention to so that you can get the bigger picture.How well do you know your kids?If you were blind folded in a room and some one told you to listen to the sounds of different children laughing, snoring ,sneezing ,or coughing would you be able to pick your child?Would you be able to hold a child's hand while being blindfolded and tell if that child's hand belongs to one of your children?



Sometimes we all forget the little things that mean so much.Sitting watching t.v. holding hands with your child It builds an emotional bond and the child will notice the effort you are making.I sometimes sit in a chair by the bed watching t.v .while my 3 year old Malachi falls asleep.I hold his hand,pray for him and wait for him to yell AMEN when I am done,and then I continue to hold his hand until he drifts off to sleep.These are memories that don't cost you anything and will leave you smiling.

Father where are you?

As a young girl growing up,that is a question I often asked myself,"Father where are you?"
This is a question that no child should ever have to ask but unfortunately many of our men
don't value and take pride in their offspring.They don't stop to think of the importance that their presence will be in a child's life.Yes, many of us grew up with stepfathers in the home but nothing can ever compare to the closeness love and validation a daughter yearns for from her biological father.How many little girls have grown up to be emotionally scarred and have low expectations
when it comes to men because what she needed from her father she never got?I firmly believe that if little girls have a strong,loving and positive father who is a good provider she will not accept anyone who is less of a man than what her father was to her.

Little things can mean the world to children.A walk in the park, baking and decorating cupcakes with them or just sitting down watching their favorite movie which you really may not like .How hard can it really be to be a dad?Not just any dad, a good one ,how hard can it be to take the time out of your day to call and listen to how your little girl tell you how her day went?How hard can it be to remember your promises and keep them?I'm really curious what men have to say in defense of this because alot of you are guilty of making a child ask this question about you!FATHER WHERE ARE YOU?